The last two weeks have been hard. I found out that my younger cousin Anita " Anita Bee" Burgos-Brooks was murdered by her husband. Immediately I did not believe it to be true. No, not her! She is a Strong Woman & Mother. She is generous, God Fearing, full of life, all smiles, loyal, selfless and always willing to listen. She is so many more things to so many more people, but I would never describe her as a victim. She found answers, she researched, she helped others to not be victims, she gave it all and did so through God with her gorgeous smile. Man, I sure do miss her.
I know she is looking at all of us now and is probably saying "The unthinkable happened, I'm in a great a wonderful place, surrounded by our loved ones. Go ahead and remember me. But don't cry for me without remembering who I was! Do all the things that are there to achieve, that I didn't get to yet. Be a Family and community member, not just be family and live in a community. Make your mark. Create goals and then start fulfilling them. Wear a smile everyday, because God gave you this present for a reason, figure it out."
I'm not sure if those would be her exact words, if she would end it there or how she would help us get there. But I'm sure it would be said. I know this because she said it in her many poems. Most of them can be found on youtube.com channel or on her webpage (both highlighted below).
When Ani was a little girl and would visit her Grandma Leti, her and Nessa would come to my house to hangout. Though they are both 3-5 years younger than I , I always loved having the company. Not having many female cousins would make you accept any age to hang out. Plus they were some of the first people who made me realize I had younger family members looking up to me. You know, I felt important, LOL. I will always remember she had to assert herself and let you know and FEEL how strong she was! Her way of doing so was to figure out her mean look and hit you. Yes that little girl packed a grown man punch! I would tease her and tell her she reminded me of the Chippette Britany (you know Alvin's Girlfriend?). She would laugh and punch me in the arm. I'm sure that meant she didn't agree. I would tease her about the Little boy who looked like TuPAc that she had a crush on (yes I know his real name and that he still ives on the block), my poor arms will probably always have underlying bruise marks from those small fists! We would talk about Boys, Music and growing up. She would always tell me from those summers until now The Luniz song " I got 5 on it" would remind her of me. Funny thing is , it always reminded me of her and Nessa. As the years went by she didn't come around as often, or maybe I wasn't around as often when I became a teenager. I left for college and when I returned I didn't stay around the neighborhood too often. But when I was around and would see Nessa, she would fill me in on little achievements Ani was making.
When I heard she was in school in Arkansas, I was so proud of her! Since I had left to school years prior down South, I knew the excitement, fun and all the friends she would make. When I finally got in touch with her, I made fun our schools playing against each other in football and how The Sonic Boom of The South will always be the baddest Band in the Land (because it is). I congratulated her when she pledged Delta Sigma Theta and also when she said she was married with a baby on the way! I remember her posting all the pictures of her bump and even when she had a fun day and painted her belly. It was like I was sharing her world with her as it unfolded again. We kept in contact from that point on, without missing a beat or a big moment. See Ani and I, both got out of Milwaukee, moved from family, created a path that we knew we needed. We both knew that the path would always lead us to our family to help in some way. The family we grew up with, we loved but Ani knew she needed to love more people. More people needed to meet her and love her! I always joke to people that meeting and knowing me will change their lives, I believe the same for Ani. We kept in touch through every avenue of Social Media; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, you name it. When I moved to Chicago and she moved home to Milwaukee, there was just more we could share. I supported her in everything she did, I ordered her book twice, I read her blog when she wrote, I watched her youtube channel and her own website. I loved to see the way she delivered her message to masses, because trust me there is a message in all of it. I always wondered what she would come up with next. I know now it was creating a voice of hope for everyone. She is our encouragement, hope, forgiveness and reminder. Reminder that no matter how tiny, you can touch big things.
Last month I told a couple people closest to me what some of my goals for 2013 were. I wanted to get involved with a Youth organization, Group Home, Counseling Center or assist at a Rape Clinic. I haven't had the chance to inquire to these places with the Mandatory Overtime at work , but that ends today. At the Going Home Ceremony for her on Wednesday, I saw just a small piece of the people who were touched by our Tiny Angel and all the many things would be done in her name. To name a few; Educator's Credit Union in Milwaukee has a fund open to assist with expenses and Lexi through the end of February, Poetry Unplugged Family in Milwaukee will have a fund for Lexi and Ani as well ongoing and the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority at Arkansas- Pine Bluff will start a Scholarship Fund in her name for students.
I have learned how many people have escaped to freedom by way of murder in the last couple months, it is astounding! This is not a Gun Control issue it is a Mental Health Issue. Some people need to seriously consider receiving Psychological or Psychiatric Assistance. Every employer offers an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) plan for free. Every Church has someone you can talk to as well. I would advise you to reach out to family if that is all you need. However sometimes taking advice from family or close friends is not good, because of judgment or ulterior motives. Which is why I suggest seeking unbiased assistance, so you are not lead down a destructive path. Some people think talking to someone who has been through it, is going through it or seems like they will never go through is good to talk to, not always so. Speak to someone who will lift you with strength.
If you read this and know that you are in danger of hurting yourself, someone else or someone may hurt you, I plead that you get assistance. If you are scared to leave a situation because of what may happen, get assistance. Especially if you have children! Man or Woman, you deserve a chance and deserve loving people in your life. If you do not know where to start, let me know. I will help you find someone or some place to get you help. I have told you before, I didn't go to school and learn how to help to sit still and watch you suffer or worse, become a victim.
I'm telling you Ani, I will continue to reach out and try to help all that I can. I will forever miss your smile and listening to your new message. But thank you for leaving me with the encouragement, motivation and hope you did. Love you always my little Chippette. Muah XOXO
And as Promised:
Anita Bee's Newest Website
Ani's Old Blog
Random Tangent (one of my favorite Poems by her)
Black Art: Dedication Poem to Anita Bee
And an Excerpt in her own words:
"So stop making excuses for yourself, figure out what your roadblock(s) is/are and work on eliminating them or work around them. There is no reason to live out your life slowly dying with regret and wondering “what if”; the change you are waiting for is waiting for you!"
Posted from <http://www.poeticjustice7.com/new-Blog.html>
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